Yahallo! Notice anything different about this site? That’s right, an entire new look. I had the same theme since the start, which was some 10 months ago. I thought it worked quite well, but feedback from a few people made me think it’s something I could look into changing. I had it in my mind for a while now and now that I did the change, I’m very happy with the new look. I hope you feel the same way about it!

If you’ve read the title you can probably guess what this post is about. I haven’t made a lot of blog posts in the last, well months now, and it’s all for a reason. What started as a break for the summer exam period, became an extended break to reflect and focus more on other things. Those other things are video editing ofcourse.

And I think it’s gonna remain the focus. In the next few weeks I’m again busy due to the exam chaos, I still haven’t passed the difficult electrical engineering, and I’m planning to also work once again in the next days. But once those things end, I’m going to be dedicating most of the time to video stuff once again.

This blog is here to stay. But there won’t be 10 posts monthly as it used to be. I’m sorry for that. But what I will post, I hope to make it as enjoyable as possible. A more “liberal” posting schedule has less of that “it has to be done” pressure anyway.

I’m talking like this when the only kind of posting routine I had was one post every 3 days. How does it feel then for those hard working bloggers who post daily? I admire those that do that!

Anyway the videos. I already mentioned that Sakura Quest AMV in a previous post but let me do it again. The first of the AMVs I posted in the last month was a Sakura Quest typographic AMV made on the opening song of that anime. Typography in videos is something I really enjoy, and in this case I used it to highlight the english words from the opening.

Next up was a Fire Force character video, dedicated to Maki Oze. The idea was simply to find a few fitting words to describe her, and then freeze a few frames, and make a fancy background that fits the word. I was very happy to see this be my first video to break the 1000 views barrier!

The latest video is a Fruits Basket lyric video. The song is Switzerland’s Eurovision 2011 entry called In love for a while. Out of the three videos, this one I’m most proud with. Making it made the wait for a new Fruits Basket episode much easier, cause, well, it made me go through the anime once again.

That would be all for this, kind of an update, kind of an invitation to take a look at my AMVs kind of post. See you next time, whether it’s on a video or a blog post!

Now more than a month ago, Lynn was kind enough (thank you!) to tag me for “The Sunshine Blogger Award 2019”. It’s the third time I’ve been tagged in such a thing and it always makes me happy to be involved in such things as it makes me feel closer to the community.

So what is The Sunshine Blogger Award thing anyway?

  • Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link to their blog so that other people can visit them
  • Answer the 11 questions put to you by the nominator
  • Nominate 11 bloggers of your choosing and provide them with a new set of 11 questions to answer
  • Notify the nominees by commenting on one of their blog posts
  • List the rules and display The Sunshine Blogger Award logo within your post or on your blog site

Here goes the logo!

And now for the…

(if only question was plural here but you get the point)

What made you want to start a blog?

That feeling when someone genuinely enjoys what you posted, and when they tell you it actually helped them, inspired them, or made their day better in any way. That satisfying feeling after crafting a post you are somewhat satisfied with. The community aspect and new relationships with a bunch of great people…

Is what I’d like to answer. But truth be told, it’s not what made me start. These things I mentioned certainly motivated me to continue (even tho saying that feels awkward as I was just on a huge break) but they weren’t the reason I got into this.

The real reason probably sounds greedy, but the concept of doing what you love and making a living out of it was something that I really wanted to try. That’s what made me start, but the experience made me see that there are a lot more reasons to do this than just that.

Is there a story behind the name of your blog?

Another one that kinda feels awkward because basically… I want to change the name to something that has a bit more of my personality but I have absolutely no good ideas so far.

In any case, I called it tfwanime because I liked using “tfw”, it sounded cool to have the acronym in the name. And since I expected I will often be expressing a lot of “feelings” in the posts, it felt fitting. But now as I write that, I actually wonder what is a blog post without some kinds of “feelings” in them? Just a news article I guess…

Do you think you’ll still be blogging in five years?

I think it’s likely. Possibly just making a few posts a year but I don’t think I’ll completely stop any time soon.

Is there any other medium you’d like to try?

All such timely questions. YouTube has been on my mind for ages, I have a few AMVs on my channel, with the latest one uploaded just a few days ago.

And I’m not gonna lie. I want to shift most of my focus on video editing. This is why certain changes have been on my mind. I guess when the moment comes when I’ll finally have the full idea ready, you’ll know all about it.

That’s not to say I’ll stop blogging. But with my focus on video editing it’s gonna be extremely hard to keep posting every 3 days like I used to, and be “successful” at university at the same time.

What anime would best describe you?

There is no way I could just pick one. The P.A. Works Working trio has characters who found themselves in similar situations and/or are aiming for basically the same things. Chihayafuru has the main character with a similar complete dedication to their goals. (At least I like to believe that’s how I am and a few people did confirm it.)

Toradora also has main characters who I strongly related to, and then there is Hikigaya Hachiman from Oregairu who also simply wants a genuine connection with someone.

These would be my answers. And that’s without mentioning Sora Yori mo Tooi Basho whose characters all have something I related to as well, so that’s another anime to add to this already too long list.

What was the last anime you dropped?

Blend S. Quite honestly I found myself bored most of the time while watching it and the characters didn’t really do anything for me. The humor style was weird too. Yeah it’s simply not for me…

What anime surprised you, for whatever reason?

Chihayafuru has been surprising because it’s basically a new addition to my all time favorite list but I never really saw it being mentioned as something worth watching.

Bungou Stray Dogs surprised me with four 10/10 episodes at the start of Season 2. Not that the rest of the anime was bad but I rated Season 1 with “only” 8/10.

What is your second favourite anime?

I have no idea how to answer this question since I have some 8 anime that I have on my “all time favorite list” and I just gave up on trying to rank them or anything cause it’s simply too hard…

Do you listen to anime music outside of watching anime? If so, what’s your favourite song?

Well yes even tho my music collection since 2017 has become very increasingly animeish.

But the answer to that question is Nessun Grado di Separazione by Francesca Michielin, an Italian artist.

Have ever admitted to liking anime and got a funny response?

I mostly avoid admitting it but some who do know it find me weird (as they basically even told me…)

Which would be worse, zombie apocalypse or vampire apocalypse?

I don’t have much of an idea how would a vampire apocalypse actually look so I’ll say zombie cause I guess I do have an idea for that from playing Left 4 Dead.

Nominations

It’s been an inactive time for me, so I have no idea who already did this or not, sorry if you already did but anyway I’ll tag a few people:

Aaand for my own set of questions…

  1. What is your favorite moment from a Kyoto Animation anime?
  2. Do you watch anime youtubers and if so, do you have any favorites?
  3. Do you watch AMVs and if so, do you have any favorites?
  4. Who are your most relatable anime characters?
  5. Who are your anime crushes?
  6. Does anyone else from your family watches anime?
  7. Do you have any other passions besides anime?
  8. Has an anime ever made you try a sport?
  9. Do you like Japanese food?
  10. Can you speak Japanese?
  11. Do you use sites like myanimelist or anilist?

It’s that hectic time once again – the Summer exam period is upon me. This time I thought I would try to post as usual, while preparing for the exams, but I’ve realized its probably the best that I take some time away from blogging stuff once again.

I really need everything to go well this time. The challenge is huge – electrical engineering which I’ve never had experience with before, nor did I really wanted to experience it, but here I am now having to face it. Not passing it on the 19th June will mean I will have to try again during the Fall exam period, and I really don’t want that because I want a Summer where I can basically do whatever I want and not studying. I haven’t had that feeling of being able to do whatever I want since last Summer, and I really need a few days like that again. I also want the time for new projects, be it on the blog or the YouTube channel. And I want to get a job too. Basically I want a lot of things this Summer, but one of those things is not studying.

I won’t exclude the possibility of some more posts this month. But they won’t go up every three days as usual. Basically if I do post something new, don’t expect more 3 days later, at least not till the 3rd July. By that date, if everything goes perfectly well, I should be entirely free from University duties till the start of October. Imagine how beautiful that would be.

I’ll for sure still be on Twitter. Knowing me, I’ll also be on Pinterest and will leave comments on blogs here and there. But I can’t get too distracted with blogging in this period.

Hopefully I’ll be able to update with some good news at the start of next month. Until then, I’m off, and good luck to everyone else who was exams, or anything else that requires some good luck 😉

This post will be a bit more personal and a bit less anime-related than usual.

I’ve put behind a battle that was various months long, with many self doubts, anxiety and negative emotions along the way.

I’m talking about driving school. It’s still a shock that I’m even able to write this, but yesterday I passed the driving test from the second attempt.

From the second attempt, just as I passed the theory segment and first aid as well.

“Nobody said it was easy…”

“…no one ever said, it would be this hard.”

This Coldplay quote can basically sum up my more than 8 month long time at driving school. I enrolled into driving school in the crazy days after I received my shocking results of the high school finals and when Croatia got through to the World Cup final. It was a time when I finished Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and started watching Hunter x Hunter. I wasn’t even thinking I would start blogging in October, nor did I know what university I’ll be in. I was still in my “old” house. That’s how much time has passed. It really feels like a different era.

The lessons themselves as well as first aid were still really the calm before the storm. Even if I passed them both from the second attempt, compared to what was gonna come next, it really wasn’t that much of a challenge.

Before enrolling into driving school, I said I think I would have a bit of a fear while driving in traffic and that I’m not considering it “urgent” to go to driving school at this stage. But my father basically insisted that I should go now, and I decided I will do it, to challenge those anxious thoughts. I wanted to believe it will go well.

New Game! Traumas

But it was nowhere near straightforward as you would wish. It was the start of September when I started the 35 mandatory driving sessions before you are eligible for the driving test.

To keep it short: it was terrible. The anxiety was well and truly there, even if I wasn’t even in traffic yet. Every mistake was followed by more of them, and the attitude of the driving instructor was really not helpful. Basically, he yelled a lot, and with the anxiety I had and the amount of errors I was making, it really wasn’t comfortable.

That night, before the second driving session the next day, I couldn’t sleep properly due to all the anxiety and negative feelings. What didn’t help matters was the rain that was falling, making me even more anxious because driving in rain was gonna make things even harder.

I think that was the most anxiety-filled night of my life. And in those moments, random New Game! openings and endings were playing in my head. And since I tend to remember such unimportant details, I’ve started associating the New Game season 2 music with those tough moments. You can probably guess I avoided listening to those openings and endings in all these months. Season 1 though was uneffected, and gives me memories of better things, because I watched Season 1 just at the end of August.

Hope

Maybe Miyamori Aoi would be a good driving instructor as she seems quite handy behind the wheel of a car…

As the driving sessions went on, there was little improvement. The anxiety was huge before every single driving hour, and although there were a few moments when it seemed things are going in the right direction, the next driving session would override that impression.

Looking back, these first 15 or so hours of driving were likely the reason I felt such a lack of confidence in my driving for all these months, and why I still had anxiety before every session, even this week too.

In December I’ve done what I should have done much earlier – change driving instructors. A new bit of hope was appearing, and after the Christmas break it was time for a fresh start.

The difference between instructors was night and day. It seemed that the new instructor actually understood that for people with anxiety, yelling and borderline insulting won’t help in any way. This new instructor was calming, and understanding that some people just need more time and a more calm approach.

Will it ever end?

It was definitely getting better. But I still wasn’t fully ready for the test. Mistakes were still a common thing. After I did the mandatory 35 driving sessions, the instructor told me to get 10 additional driving sessions. This was devastating. Not only was I tired of doing those driving sessions and trying to survive the anxiety, but each driving session required a lot more time and money than it should because in late January I kind of changed my residence. Emphasis on “kind of” but that’s a story I won’t go into now.

Will there ever be an end to it? How much more suffering do I have to endure? Why do I have to be like this?

These were the questions that I tormented myself with, especially at the start of this week current week.

The tests

When I finally had the chance to take the driving test, I failed the first one. The positive part was that the person that evaluated me told me he thinks I will “pass soon” and that my “pedal control was good”. My main error was failing to stop at the stop signs.

Failing meant you had to do 3 additional driving sessions before taking the test again. Just to make things more complicated, the instructor took a vacation and I had a substitute for those 3 extra sessions and the second exam.

I don’t remember the last time I had a week as rough as this one, excluding yesterday onwards. On Tuesday and Wednesday, when I had those extra driving sessions, it rained. And various other unlucky things have been happening during these days. I don’t feel like going into details right now but let me tell you, some of it was stuff you wouldn’t even see with the unluckiest anime characters.

Yesterday it rained too. But luckily it was only in the later stages of the test, and it wasn’t heavy enough to affect me too much. I had the final extra driving session right before the test. All of those 3 additional driving sessions were quite bad, even the one right before the test.

The examiner was the same person as the first time. Apparently, that’s a rare thing.

I was still full of visible anxiety but somehow, I made it through the test without any major errors. There were some needless things, but not enough for a failure it seems. When the examiner said “-2, Matija” I was certain that meant another failure. Then he started talking about my mistakes but he only really mentioned 2 or 3 things. After the first exam this was when he told me I can leave so it was unusual that he didn’t do so yet.

You can then imagine the pure shock and disbelief when I saw the paper in front of me that said that I passed the exam. It is something I still can’t quite believe has happened.

Relief

It’s hard to properly describe the relief that this has been. To think I never have to worry about driving school again is just so beautiful. And to think of all the doors that have now opened thanks to this… I am so happy and so relieved that I’ve finally put all of this behind.

I guess the lesson I can learn from all of this is to never give up no matter how bad it seems. In this case I really wanted to give up, even if I was already kind of at the point of no return. In case of failing the second time, I would have tried to take a break from driving for a number of months, so I would not have to think about this again.

Even on the day of the exam, it felt like I’m a lost cause and there is no way I can actually pass this. But fortunately it turned out I was wrong. Just as I thought I would fail my Croatian high school finals, just as I wasn’t sure about passing university physics… It seems every time I’m convinced in failure, it ends up the opposite way.

Moral of the story – keep facing those challenges you have. Keep fighting that s*itty anxiety. If after all the self doubting and terrible anxiety I managed to pass that driving test, you can face your own challenges too. Just instead of self-doubting, believe in yourself. Trust me, it will make things much easier.

I hope your time at driving school was easier. If you haven’t experienced driving school yet, I hope you’ll have an easier time than me…

A few weeks ago I was happy to realize that I’ve been nominated for something called the “Real Neat Blog Award”. It’s the first time I’ve been nominated for any kind of post like this, and once again I would like to thank Crow’s World of Anime for giving me this opportunity 😀

The Rules

If you don’t know what this is about, here are the rules.

  1. Display the logo
  2. Thank the bloggers for the award (already done that, but another thank you won’t hurt :P)
  3. Answer the questions from the one who nominated you
  4. Nominate 7 to 10 bloggers (I might be a tad less expansive too but let’s see)
  5. Ask them 7 questions

The Logo

In accordance with the rules, here’s the official logo: (shameless copy-paste)

The Questions

Which anime writer most inspires you, or which anime writer turns out material you find inspirational?

Well I guess Yuyuko Takemiya because Toradora inspires me in so many ways it would be too much to start writing about now. Also Yoshihiro Togashi is admirable with everything he does with Hunter x Hunter so he would be another candidate.

What aspect of your blog are you most proud of and why?

I’d say I’m proud of how I’m consistently posting every 3 days. It may not be as many posts as for some other anime blogs, but I’ve sticked with this “new post every 3 days” idea since the start of the year. Except ofcourse, February when I took the break because of exams.

Another thing is the variety of my posts? Or at least I’d like to believe that’s the case. I do lists, I break down openings and endings, I do more personal posts along with first impressions and other stuff too. I always aim to make each post unique and fresh, altho it may not look that way during the start of an anime season when there are a few more first impressions posts.

Of the artists who perform or write anime openings or endings, who is your favorite?

It’s never a bad opening or ending song when LiSA is the singer. But I also want to mention Yanagi Nagi, the singer of both the Oregairu openings, the Just Because! opening and the Irozuku Sekai ending. She has such a beautiful distinctive voice.

What anime series would you love to buy, but can’t because it’s not available?

Here I am talking about Toradora once again, but I can’t help myself. It’s available on Steam, and I would totally buy it to support the author, but it’s unavailable in Croatia.

I would also buy the PSP game but I don’t have the device and I sadly still can’t read full Japanese. But at least I can support the author by buying the manga volumes, and I’m slowly but surely collecting those volumes.

Excluding this site, what are three anime sites you follow regularly and why?

Let’s see, that would be 100wordanime, drunkenanimeblog and animatedandy.

Why? Because I love quality content.

That was a terrible way to give someone a shootout and I’m so sorry.

Which of Franchouchou’s performances from Zombieland Saga was your favorite and why?

I did once mention a certain Zombieland Saga performance as an honorable mention for this list. It was the legendary rap battle between Sakura and Saki. Epic is the only way to describe it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOcERX0MzCE

Kotaro is the king of improvisation and I love how Yugiri randomly joins in with that shamisen.

I also really enjoyed this electrifying (sorry) performance from episode 7. Their autotuned voices, the way they were shooting with the fingers, the backstory… It made for such a cool and memorable performance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqvsAJJf_Dw

Within the last several seasons, what series had your favorite art style and why?

I think that would be Irozuku Sekai no Ashita Kara from Fall 2018 cause P.A. Works just made it look stunning.

Who am I nominating?

I think I’ll make it 4 nominations too. I nominate:

  1. animatedandy
  2. solitarycubblyhole
  3. inasianspaces
  4. umaiyomu

My questions

And now for my very own seven questions.

  1. Who are your favorite voice actors? (subbed or dubbed, it’s fine either way)
  2. How many shows each anime season do you watch on average?
  3. What is the most episodes of anime you’ve watched in a single day?
  4. How many hours of anime do you watch per week?
  5. Do you have any rules that you apply for each blog post you make?
  6. What is your main motivation for blogging?
  7. Have you ever read the source material (manga, light novel, visual novel) of an anime before it has started airing?

Thanks for reading and I hope my answers were somewhat satisfying.